eyelash extentionsLET’S TALK ABOUT MOM GUILT

I had a pretty big breakdown in my OBGYNs office at my postpartum appointment.

My poor doctor didn’t know what was coming…

She asked how things were going since we brought our girls home, and I responded with the simple:

“Fine! We’re Good..”

But that wasn’t entirely true…

And I guess my emotions got the best of me because as I’m giving these blanket responses I started to tear up and before I knew it I couldn’t stop the powerful flowing of tears.

Talk about hormone overload…

My OBGYN is amazing and she sat there with me for awhile and we had a majorly needed heart to heart and post baby blues chat.

She told me that it’s okay to feel this way.

I just went from a household of 3 to a household of 5!

It was going to be stressful!

It’s okay if everything isn’t Fine or Good or Great or any other phony response..

But what she wanted to know was this:

What was I doing to deal with this crazy stressful life of mine?

Was I keeping it all in or was I talking about it?

Was I finding time for myself to recharge and re-energize?

She assigned me “homework” and they were two important things:

Be open and honest with Bryan about how I was feeling.

Always try to communicate with each other on being stressed, needing help, and when one of us needed a break.

And the second, TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF.

She made me repeat after her (God love her!)

TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF.

mom guiltHow would I even do that with newborn twins??

As she’s telling me this, my mind immediately starts filling up with guilt-filled thoughts.

As a mom, It’s hard not to be all-consumed with what we call Mom Guilt.

If you were inside my head it would go a little something like this:

My family needs me…

No one can do what I do…

If I leave everything will fall apart…

I’m not being a good mother if I take breaks away from my babies…

Am I being selfish??

What will other moms think of me??

And once you start thinking these things it’s hard to let them go and push them outta your mind.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we care what others think?

In this new world of social media and over-sharing that we live in, it’s easy to fall into the dark hole of competitiveness and judgments and shaming and comparing.

I don’t know why, but it seems that ever since I became a mom I notice it so much more.

It seems that everybody has an opinion on what their view of perfect motherhood should be…

Breast-fed vs Bottle fed

Stay at home mom vs working mom

Homemade baby food vs store bought

Co-sleeping vs crib sleeping

Cry-it-out vs attachment parenting

Organic food vs non-organic

Circumcising vs not circumcising

No joke about the circumcising…never knew this was such a heated topic until I went to a prenatal yoga class when I was pregnant with Cade and moms-to-be were arguing with each other on whether you should circumcise a newborn…

Mom Guilt is ever present and so difficult to cure because it surrounds us.

What can we do about it? How can we get away from it?

We can be there for each other.

No matter what your view of motherhood is.

We can let go of the negativity, the mom shaming, the judging and comparing.

We can release the guilt and replace it with happiness, joy, and positivity.

When I left that appointment, I made a decision to try my best to free myself from these negative thoughts and feelings.

mom guiltMy doctor said what she would do was every morning go for a run. This was time set aside for her everyday and her husband knew that this time was hers and any baby duty during this time was his responsibility.

I’m not much of a runner….and I’m still trying to find my way back into a workout routine entirely…

It got me brainstorming..what is something I can do to make myself feel better?

Something that doesn’t just define me as a “mom”

Something that would help me relax

Something that would boost my confidence and make me feel better about myself

I always love a good mani/pedi but I was trying to be more adventurous and think outside the box.

I am not one to get full-ready makeup on everyday (I’m lucky if I even take a shower!)

I love the look of being put-together but not so much the effort you gotta put into it…

This is where my eyelash extensions come in!

When I was in Mexico a few years ago, the spa at the resort I was staying at had a special on eyelash extensions, so on a whim I tried it.

It was so awesome waking up in the morning, not having to put on any makeup (cuz who wants to do that at the beach?) But still looking like you have mascara on!

I loved having the eyelash extentions while we were on vacation, it was so effortless and pretty!

I’d never gotten them since, but I thought this is something I may want to try again..

I know… this sounds silly and trivial. But little things like this can  really make a difference!

It took some effort making that first appointment work. Blocking off two and a half hours away from the girls right after they were born was no easy feat.

During the eyelash extension process, you have your eyes shut the whole time and have to be completely still which means no answering the phone, no texting no communication with the outside world

And let me tell you, it was absolute heaven!

mom guilt

You pretty much get to lay on a tempurpedic  mattress that feels like a cloud, and take a nap for two hours while someone perfects your eyelashes for you.

What could a mom want more than that?!

My daily makeup routine usually consists of some BB cream, BabyLips chapstick, and maybe a lil bronzer if I’m feeling spontaneous…

Now paired with my new lovely lashes, I feel put together without much effort at all! Doing this little routine along with having my eyelashes done makes me feel feminine…and confident…and gives me that added lil pep-in-my-step! 🙂

(funny how a little girliness can have this effect on you!)

Even if I’m sitting at home all day, with spit-up on my clothes and my main social interactions are making funny faces and blowing bubbles at my baby girls, there’s something to be said about these little acts of femininity. They truly help re-energize this over-tired mama of three.

So this is my new routine.

Every 3rd Wednesday I go for two hours to get my eyelashes done.

It may not be a weekend vacation, or a whole day at the spa or an every morning run.

By for me, it’s exactly what I need.

It’s my perfect time to re-charge and get beautified.

And it’s all {mom} guilt free.

Merichelle Signature

Do you take time to recharge and take care of yourself first? What special things do you do for your kid-free alone time?

 

 Below are some of my favs I use for my  minimal-effort everyday makeup routine! ↓

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